How to feel more confident? How to build self-confidence? and how to stop caring what people think.?
I’m gonna tell you guys about my experiences how I got to a place where I feel pretty confident with talking to people, I feel confident talking on a stage so we’re gonna go through different levels of confidence and just ways to build it and tools to use to just become an all-around more confident human being.
Be Okay with who you are
First piece of advice is to really be okay with who you are and I know that you’re probably thinking, that’s easier said than done but the way that I’ve done this is through experience and through history of realizing why I’m holding myself back from being who I am.
In my Instagram caption it says “Don’t hide your magic” because if you hide your magic which is who you are from the world then you’re doing the universe a disservice, you’re just sort of leaving out all of your magic and we don’t get to experience.
In the past for a long time I would sit down with people and listen to them and try to answer in Yes,No or very short sentences. I would have positive thoughts in my mind and wanted to tell them to these people but the only person I would really always do that with was my mom if my mom is having a feeling of self doubt or feeling of like…ummmm… today is not a good day or whatever I always felt comfortable expressing like okay mom come on and giving her like these motivational speaks because she’s my mom and I just feel the most comfortable with her but when it came to friends and other family members and my everyday life I always held back that part of me and I just would be oh yeah I know I feel like I would never share what I wanted to share because I felt like people were gonna think.
I was annoying or just not as cool as them or whatever that might be and I held that back for a longtime and then I don’t know what shifted but one day.I decided I’m gonna become and I’m going to say the things that are on my mind and I’m going to embrace Who I am fully and I’m going to run with Who I am and I’m going to embrace it to my fullest potential .
It is for whatever type of human being you are and when I say type of human being you are, that sounds kind of strange but I just mean whatever your passion or the way that you talk about things or what ever is going on in your mind let it out,let it be if you are weird, if you are cool, if you are different, if you have crazy thoughts all the time or whatever it might be,just put it out there because people need that from you and when you hop in on who you are and you let it out. When you bring what is within, out into the world miracles happen.
Become as clear as possible on the things that matter
My next piece of advice for you is to try to become as clear as possible on the things that matter to you and what your purpose is in life. I know that that’s sounds heavy because people are probably thinking I need to know my main purpose in life to be able to be confident and no that’s not entirely true but being able to focus and become more clear on the things that matter to you will really help you find your passion.
That in turn helps you become more confident because you can speak confidently about the things that you’re passionate about in life so if you’re somebody who loves the ocean and you want to protect the ocean and you will find out what you can do about that and you will speak to it intelligently about the ocean and the way to conserve it and make sure that you can help the animals in the ocean and all these things that you just become so smart and you become so confident when you talk to somebody in a conversation about these things.For me for instance I know my passion is human connection I know my passion is to help people feel more relaxed I know my passion is to take stress off of people in any way that I can learn more about doing that I love.
Things like self-care I am so passionate about it and so when I talk about these things I may seem a little bit more confident in conversation because I am so ecstatic and excited about it. When you become clear of your passions and when you speak about what you’re passionate about your eyes light up. The most beautiful thing to see is somebody talking about the things that they love in life because their eyes light up it’s my favorite thing to see and it’s true your eyes light up,you become so beautiful when you are passionate about something and when you know that you have a purpose of some sort. So I think really sitting down and thinking about what is my purpose what is something that I really want to focus on or what change do I want to make in the world.
Find the time to take care of yourself
The next one is to find the time to take care of yourself so find the time to look inside to take care of yourself and also primarily for confidence take the time to take care of your body so working-out, doing a skincare routine, playing, singing, dancing,painting all these things are gonna help with your confidence because I know for me if I woke up and I’ve been busy all morning working working working and somebody comes over and I’ve only had my coffee and I’ve been on the phone doing emails and all these things.
I haven’t brushed my teeth yet then I’m not confident because I can’t have this conversation with you yet hold on a second like things like that you have to do to feel confident in conversation when you go to work and you’ve taken care of yourself and groomed yourself before you go in then you go to work feeling that you look good today,you took care of yourself, You can not think about how you look.
Testing out your comfort zone
Testing out your comfort zone is such a great way to build confidence. I held myself back from doing things for so long because I cared what people thought and because I didn’t want them to think that I was weird.I used to hold back my thoughts during my school, my college and even work but one of my colleague always motivated me to present my ideas and he even shared my ideas and told people this is what I think.
There were always thoughts in my mind like do I want to do that, do I want to fly there and do this job, it’s gonna be interesting, I’m a little bit nervous about how it’s gonna go down but you know what I’m gonna test my comfort zone and when I do it and when I survive through a circumstance then I’ll always come out thinking that I did that because now I have so much confidence for the next thing that I go into.
So it’s a learning experience throughout the process like you learn as you go you learn, as you break out of your comfort zone you learn, through failure you learn, through all these mishaps you learn and finally you realize even when things go bad you realize that It’s okay that I got through that,that wasn’t that bad, it was probably the worst it could be and now I’m fine and I’m okay and I can continue doing what I’m doing and I just think that that is the number one way to build confidence over time just keep testing your comfort zone just keep testing it.
Put yourself out there to make yourself do things that you’re not comfortable to do.
Lastly put yourself out there to make yourself do things that you’re not comfortable with and yes this goes very much so hand-in-hand with testing out your comfort zone but this one I’m primarily referring about public speaking because that is a primary concern when it comes to confidence. People say all the time that I don’t feel good speaking in front of a classroom, I don’t feel good at public speaking, I don’t want to go on this panel, I just don’t do that I get really nervous my heart beats really quickly. I totally get it I have been there I have been on a panel one time where my heart was going so quickly somebody asked me a question that I just turned to the person next to me and was like you answer this because I was so scared, I was wrapped up in my anxiety.
But now I feel at ease like when I play piano and if I have a moment where I missed half of a word or if I am going in a different direction and what I thought I was going to be that’s normal I am so at ease now that I can just navigate that and make it sound clear anyways it takes time to get there and it takes a lot of putting yourself out there I have been going to things like playlist live or any panel that I have been requested to yeah I always say yes to now because I know that the more I put myself out there and get up in front of an audience the better I will become at public speaking and so just putting yourself out there no matter what even if it’s going to be so hard sometimes just do it because you’ll start learning those feelings that you get in the anxiety’s and you’ll start learning how to overcome them.
I like to do a breathing method so the moment that I start feeling my heartbeat going super quickly and the moment that I start feeling that this is gonna be bad what I do in this case is that I always positive self-talk myself in those moments as well I tell myself that this is no big deal, you got this, you know exactly, what these people are talking about, you have experienced this, you have things to say you’re going to be okay just breathe, it’s all good, those are some of my simple quick easy ways to feel a little bit more confident in different life moments whether it’s just talking to somebody or whether it’s getting up on a stage in public speaking.